A Soul Date

blog pic1-1I could write about grace and soul work from  the safe perch of my intellect; I often do. But not today.

The truth is, I’m tired. I’m tired of the fatigue, tired of the supplements and tired of the restlessness that makes me feel like an itchy teenager in need of some fast wheels and a hall pass.

So over the weekend, I skipped the doctors and the self- help books and prescribed my own medicine…a retreat. I didn’t head to a fancy spa, didn’t listen to another inspirational tele-seminar…didn’t even leave the house.

I shut it all down. The curtains. The Lifetime channel. The telephone. (Yes, I still own a landline phone.) And I went into retreat.

I prayed. I meditated. I journaled for wisdom. And to retrieve pieces of my soul.

I wrote poetry. I brooded over old photographs and wondered about the sad eyes of the woman who looked like me. How did I refuse to see what needed to be seen for all of those years?

I kissed an old photograph of my son and felt a surge of joy and pain at the same time; his blue eyes were so blue and I held him in a tight embrace. I remember that day–it was his first day at school.

I read an inspirational book on grace and marveled at human courage. And I cried.

I spent the day tuning  into my soul, listening intently while it  was being poured out in synchronicities, old pictures, tears, journals, letters, for me to assemble with patience.

When I meditated, I asked the Divine for help to re-connect with my soul. I asked:

“What do I need to bring into my life so I can hear my soul?”

laughter. deep breathing. play. prayer. intuition. expansion. sacredness. reflection. tear down those walls. purge toxins. what brings imbalance. grace. goodness. draw shades.

feed the birds.

I heard answers of all sorts. (In all fairness, the guidance to feed the birds may have been my subconscious because my sweetheart reminded me before he went away on a weekend trip.)

But you get the idea. My soul is talking to me. And I think some of the restlessness I have been feeling is really resistance.

Let’s face it, sometimes it is easier to sip a glass of wine and turn on the “Real Housewives” to numb out the noise than it is to set aside time for a soul date. That is, until it’s not.

I share this very personal blog about my soul guidance from a ground floor perspective, with no perch from which to sit.  I am barefoot now, and ready to feed the birds.

XO

If you’re interested in more thoughts on integrity, compassion and grace, particularly at midlife, read my book Tao Flashes.  Or visit me at www.facebook.com/taoflashes or on twitter @taoflashes.

 

 

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9 thoughts on “A Soul Date

  1. You told me to turn inward, and I didn’t do it. Didn’t know how. So that’s what you mean. Oh, how lovely. How utterly marvelous. I long to do what you did.

    What I want to know is, did it help? Did you find comfort? And, how can I help you my friend.

    I absolutely adore this post.

  2. Oh my sweet. For me, I need time to hear my inner guidance. And it doesn’t necessarily come in one hit– or one meditation, or from one prayer. My guidance is still unfolding.. But the quiet time this weekend allowed me to better hear the whispers….and it is up to me to stay awake and receptive to the little soul nods. You too my friend. And yes, that time alone was so comforting for me. It felt self indulgent ….and sacred– in a good way. I will continue to ask for guidance…and do my best to slow down and hear it. Thank you for your offer of support– your offer in itself validates my journey. And I hope I get to do the same for you….hugs! Xo

  3. I love this idea. I think I do it, at times, w/out realizing that’s what it is. I call it filling my tanks. Good for you for being aware enough to realize it was necessary.

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