A Conscious Cleanse To End the Year

blog pic1-1It’s the end of the year. But before we shutter the past and usher in the new and the shiny and the sequined, it’s important to take time to reflect.

At least I think so. I like to end my year consciously, reflecting on what I’ve gained and what I’ve lost, what I’ve let into my life, what I’ve closed the door on. I think of the ending of a year as a symbolic closing of sorts.

And I ask myself: what in my life is ending, or what needs to end, for my growth and my highest good?

For me, I want to say good-bye to a mindset of fear, both the learned fear and the psychic DNA of fear passed on from my ancestors. I’m not a pack mule and I’m tired of carrying it.

I’m also saying good-bye to tracking my value based on other people’s input or opinions of me. That goes for blog comments, twitter followers and facebook likes, too.  Focusing on this makes me feel anxious, worried, competitive. Enough. I’ve grown enough this year to finally get comfortable with the spiritual notion that I am enough.

I appreciate what I’ve built this last year with my book, Tao Flashes, and my blog. And I greatly appreciate the support of others. But I am no longer seeking it.  I am more clearly focused on providing value than feeling of value.  I’m not in the chase mode anymore. I’ll continue to promote myself, but I will quit running after numbers and trust that the people who need my brand of encouragement will find me. Radical? Maybe. But radical faith is sometimes needed in life.

This is some of what I am saying good-bye to in 2013. So, I encourage you to ask what needs to end. And if you want to go deeper, ask yourself this: what wounds in my life are asking to be healed so I can have a new start in the new year?

Are you a perfectionist, always trying to please others at the cost of your time or self-esteem? This is familiar territory for many of us women. Maybe you’re an organizer/controller who believes you need to run everything, because in reality, you feel unsafe or powerless in some area of your life. Check.

Maybe you’re a peacemaker like me, always looking to soothe things over, fluff up the pillows and pretty things up, when in reality, there are times when it might be more healing to let the fur fly?

So as you close out the year, consider what needs to heal, and set you New Year’s resolutions accordingly and mindfully. From there, you can give thought to what you wish to  say yes to, what you wish to birth and create space for in the coming year.

Last year my new year’s resolution was this: To live and love in truth. This meant that I was committed to being authentic, living and acting and speaking truthfully, with integrity, even when pressures dictated otherwise.

Like many resolutions, I broke this once or twice (or more). The truth is, living with integrity means analyzing every single thought and action in your daily life to ensure you are congruent, integrious. It’s a tall order for the average bear, like me.

In retrospect, I see now that this resolution is more of an intention, an act of empowerment and grace to seek out on my never-ending spiritual journey. So, I won’t count it as a resolution this year. I’ll make it a daily intention for the rest of my years.

As for my new resolutions? I’m working on a list right now. I’ve been reading material from a book called The Desire Map, by Danielle LaPorte. She talks about setting goals/resolutions from a different, more mindful perspective. LaPorte believes in setting goals that are focused on achieving the core “feelings” you wish to feel in your life. She believes that our search for accolades, money, fame, recognition, security, are really about our quest to achieve the feelings these accomplishments bring to us.

With this in mind, I know this year I want to feel more communion, more connection. I want to feel more creative, more purposeful, more peaceful and more passionate.

My resolutions, in all areas of my life–work, relationships, health and well-being, community and spirituality–will center around these five core feelings.

It’s a tall order for me. But I’m not afraid. I’ve said good-bye to fear. That was sooooooo last year.

If you’re interested in more thoughts on integrity, compassion and grace, particularly at midlife, read my book Tao Flashes.  Or visit me at www.facebook.com/taoflashes or on twitter @taoflashes.

14 thoughts on “A Conscious Cleanse To End the Year

  1. The Desire Map arrived last week but I’ve yet to dive in.
    I like the transition from goal to intention; it fits nicely with your work and your mission. The take away for me? Asking myself what needs to end. Thank you.

    • Thanks so much Walker. And yes…the ending stuff is probably bigger than the resolutions. At least for me. I could have written an entire blog about what needs to end. LOL. Good luck to you. I hope you’ll write about it.

  2. “I am enough.”

    You may have just helped me coalesce what I’d like to focus on in 2014. Like you, I’ve had a good run this year with my blog and my new book (loving yours, by the way). And like you, it’s a struggle to focus on providing value rather than feeling of value when I look at numbers.

    Hmmmm…. thank you…(you’ve got me thinking)…

    • Lori, thanks for the kind comment about my book. Congratulations on your new book! While I”m not focused on chasing value, your comment certainly makes me feel valued. Knowing that my blog gets you thinking or feeling….well, that’s one of the nicest things you could have said to me. Happy New Year!

  3. Hi Lisa…I “love” this… “And I greatly appreciate the support of others. But I am no longer seeking it. I am more clearly focused on providing value than feeling of value. I’m not in the chase mode anymore.” This statement is such a huge thing that it alone would serves as a great intention for 2014. Thanks! ~Kathy

  4. I couldn’t have said it better myself…and your words and thoughts echo mine so beautifully. Happy new year from a fellow peacemaker and social media just-about-dropout.

  5. Lisa, i too want to throw out what doesn’t work. My New Year’s goal is to be FIT; financially, spiritually and physically. As i go through the year, if what I’m doing doesn’t fit the goal, then I can let it go. It’ll be interesting to look back next year at this time and see if I stay true to my goal.

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