At least I think so. I like to end my year consciously, reflecting on what I’ve gained and what I’ve lost, what I’ve let into my life, what I’ve closed the door on. I think of the ending of a year as a symbolic closing of sorts.
And I ask myself: what in my life is ending, or what needs to end, for my growth and my highest good?
For me, I want to say good-bye to a mindset of fear, both the learned fear and the psychic DNA of fear passed on from my ancestors. I’m not a pack mule and I’m tired of carrying it.
I’m also saying good-bye to tracking my value based on other people’s input or opinions of me. That goes for blog comments, twitter followers and facebook likes, too. Focusing on this makes me feel anxious, worried, competitive. Enough. I’ve grown enough this year to finally get comfortable with the spiritual notion that I am enough.
I appreciate what I’ve built this last year with my book, Tao Flashes, and my blog. And I greatly appreciate the support of others. But I am no longer seeking it. I am more clearly focused on providing value than feeling of value. I’m not in the chase mode anymore. I’ll continue to promote myself, but I will quit running after numbers and trust that the people who need my brand of encouragement will find me. Radical? Maybe. But radical faith is sometimes needed in life.
This is some of what I am saying good-bye to in 2013. So, I encourage you to ask what needs to end. And if you want to go deeper, ask yourself this: what wounds in my life are asking to be healed so I can have a new start in the new year?
Are you a perfectionist, always trying to please others at the cost of your time or self-esteem? This is familiar territory for many of us women. Maybe you’re an organizer/controller who believes you need to run everything, because in reality, you feel unsafe or powerless in some area of your life. Check.
Maybe you’re a peacemaker like me, always looking to soothe things over, fluff up the pillows and pretty things up, when in reality, there are times when it might be more healing to let the fur fly?
So as you close out the year, consider what needs to heal, and set you New Year’s resolutions accordingly and mindfully. From there, you can give thought to what you wish to say yes to, what you wish to birth and create space for in the coming year.
Last year my new year’s resolution was this: To live and love in truth. This meant that I was committed to being authentic, living and acting and speaking truthfully, with integrity, even when pressures dictated otherwise.
Like many resolutions, I broke this once or twice (or more). The truth is, living with integrity means analyzing every single thought and action in your daily life to ensure you are congruent, integrious. It’s a tall order for the average bear, like me.
In retrospect, I see now that this resolution is more of an intention, an act of empowerment and grace to seek out on my never-ending spiritual journey. So, I won’t count it as a resolution this year. I’ll make it a daily intention for the rest of my years.
As for my new resolutions? I’m working on a list right now. I’ve been reading material from a book called The Desire Map, by Danielle LaPorte. She talks about setting goals/resolutions from a different, more mindful perspective. LaPorte believes in setting goals that are focused on achieving the core “feelings” you wish to feel in your life. She believes that our search for accolades, money, fame, recognition, security, are really about our quest to achieve the feelings these accomplishments bring to us.
With this in mind, I know this year I want to feel more communion, more connection. I want to feel more creative, more purposeful, more peaceful and more passionate.
My resolutions, in all areas of my life–work, relationships, health and well-being, community and spirituality–will center around these five core feelings.
It’s a tall order for me. But I’m not afraid. I’ve said good-bye to fear. That was sooooooo last year.