What Is Your Anger Really Saying?

Many of us women have days when we wake up like cranky two-year olds, rubbing our eyes, sighing with impatience and being irritable for no “legitimate” reason. Noise bothers us, conversation distracts us, and we find it a challenge to be our most loving selves.

It is perplexing to those around us. “Where did that sweet, loving, agreeable, woman go?”, we’re asked. Sometimes we want to shout back. “She’s gone, gone for her good, gone for your good . . . gone, gone, gone, and gone for good!”

At midlife, we’re quick to chalk up our irritability to hormones, tiredness to vitamin D deficiencies, and forgetfulness to menopausal rewiring. Maybe this is the case, but maybe something else is at work. Maybe, just maybe, it’s our spirit nudging us, knocking on the door of our consciousness to get our attention.

Dr. Christine Northrop, author of “The Wisdom of Menopause,” has written a great deal about the changes we women experience during menopause. Changes that are emotional, spiritual even, as well as physical.

She talks of menopause as a time of rebirth, a time when we are releasing the old and birthing a new life. And for those of us who have birthed children, we know the process is often a messy business.

So, maybe at midlife, we’re trying to birth a new dream, write a book, create a business. Or maybe we’re in need of a new direction, or a new relationship, but we haven’t figured it all out yet. And so quiet and reflection is needed.

I believe everything has a purpose, a reason. If we are irritable, agitated, I think it’s likely we are trying to release something, or birth something.

So ask yourself, what are you really angry or irritated about? In Chinese medicine, anger is associated with the liver in the human body and the element of wood. It’s also associated with the season of spring and birth…or rebirth.

So it makes sense that the best way for the liver, and the body in general, to release toxicity is through some form of detox. That detoxing process could be for some, as simple as you owning your truth, and looking for ways to be your authentic self. To speak up about your needs instead of compromising your beliefs or wants on a regular basis.

It might mean you are in need of a physical detox. Maybe it’s time to consult your doctor or nutritionist about starting a liver cleanse, or taking the appropriate supplements.

And finally, maybe it’s just time to go within and listen to your spirit. Ask your spirit what it needs to release or what it needs to birth for your highest good.

After all, when we live in spirit, we are true to ourselves. And this is one of the highest virtues of the Tao, to live in integrity.

As I talk about in my book Tao Flashes, living in truth and integrity is an ongoing journey. Expect to trip and fall down. I fall down, and I pick myself up, and sometimes, sometimes I fall down again. For me, the bruises on my knees are badges of honor. Because I always learn something on the way down . . . and on the way back up.

And for the record, I wake up cranky every now and again. And I know, even when I don’t want to know, that my spirit is trying to get my attention. Sometimes I think it’s saying to me...”We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. You pick.”

And that’s when I know it’s time for me to get to work on myself, to excavate what needs to be uprooted or birthed.

Happy Journeying…

If you’re interested in more thoughts on integrity, compassion and grace, particularly at midlife,  read my book Tao Flashes.  Or visit me at www.facebook.com/taoflashes or on twitter @taoflashes.

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7 thoughts on “What Is Your Anger Really Saying?

  1. I’m dancing as fast as I can, too.

    I’m angry that my body is giving me problems. I’m angry I can’t keep up with my schedule. I’m angry I can’t see all of my many friends who live so far away, that can’t share with me the minutiae of my life.

    What am I doing about my anger? I’m going to listen to you, to Tao, and to whatever is growing inside of my heart that has been silenced from my busy world.

    P.S. I also rely on “The Wisdom of Menopause” – check out my blog, cause I unashamedly quote Northrup a lot!

    Lastly, and of course, I LOVE this post! Keep writing, Lisa. You are my guide, and you empower me.

    • Cathy, I am sending you a big ole hug. I hope you know you inspire me, too. As for Dr. Christine Northrop…I adore her. I listen to a radio program she does every week. In addition to medicine, she talks about astrology and all kinds of things. As for anger…keep listening to it. I know when I ignore mine and push it down, it really does come back to bite me. Hard. We’re lucky we have the support of each other, the kind that comes with no judgment so we can just step back and look at it and listen to the lessons it is trying to teach us.

  2. Count me in as one of the sometimes-cranky ones. I think, for me, it happens when I feel pressured and squeezed and can’t get everything done. And then I get cranky when I start to forget and lose things because I have too much to do and my mind gets overwhelmed. It turns into a vicious cycle…time to take a breath and SLOW DOWN, I think.

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